A Thousand Yellow Daisies

Personally, I prefer purple flowers to yellow...Believe it or not, and most of you probably will, but I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love, romance, soulmates and passion. I just want to make that clear before I move on. You may wonder why I make this point first, but I htink you will understand more later in the post. First, let me fill you in on last night.

Last night was really fucking cold. It was about 30 when we headed to Robert's to drink with friends. We got there around 9:30 and Adam was already there, drink in hand. He and Shawn had introduced themselves and were chatting football and other such manly things - someone should tell Shawn that crack kills.

Angie and I strolled in and grabbed "our booth" and Michelle fixed us our usual (scary that we already have usuals). We chatted and waited for more people to show up. This girl I met last week, Allison and her friend Danielle (I think) came in and joined the fun. By drink #2, Shawn had to head out to play at CJ's and I ordered another drink...

Allison quized me about Shawn more - think she is trying to get into his pants?! - before she and her friend headed out to be groupies at CJ's. Then came Marcia and Dustin - soon to be followed by Dani and Mike. I think they were all entertained by my drinking and big ol' buzz. Adam was buzzing pretty hard too. Angie had stopped at half a drink and was working on keeping me sane.

So we continued to drink and chat and laugh and bitch about work - fun was had by all.

Somehow I ended up picking up a very cute guy - Michael - and got a big thumbs up from Michelle. Not sure what I did, but I came home with his number in my pocket. I stopped drinking around midnight and switched to water. Once I sobered up, I was ready to head out. The kids left one by one (Adam had to be taken away by his friend Brandon, twice).

Angie and I grabbed some food at the Waffle Hose and then she dropped me back at my car. I drove home down Peachtree (good to avoid the expressway). I drove in and the party-people next door were somewhat surprised to see me coming home at 3am. I think that they think I am too straight-laced.

I came in and grabbed a movie to go to sleep to. And of course, I grabbed a romantic comedy French Kiss. As I said, I am hopeless.

So here is what I want to know (after a cool night with friends and no stress), why are there no hopeless romantic men? Or if they exist, where are they? Nik, a former man of mine, was a complete romantic. Purple roses, limos, romantic dinners, picnics, etc. While it was fabulous, and there was a spark, I found I loved the idea of him more than being in love with him. Not to speak ill of the dearly departed, but if I had ended up married to him, it would have been a big mistake. I think the problem was that I was really young and didn't know what love was.

Since Nik, there was Matt who screwed with my head and my body. Ray, who was a friend of Matt's and while he was a really nice guy, just no umph. There was Chris and Chris - practically at the same time - I loved them both but again, not the "in love" kind of love. Then David who was just a fling and then my goalie, who I easily could have seen myself with. That said, I'm in a situation where the only people I meet are at work. Not too good for my social life, but I never give up hope.

Not sure what I am looking for at this point...mostly just some fun and no stress, but anything is always possible...right? Of course, I wasn't expecting to pick up strangers in bars...so back to the drawing board I guess. One day I will find and be ready for the sweeping gestures kind of relationship (if they really exist).

Man, I need a dose of reality and need to stop with the movies...