Let's Do It Again...

So I know I already posted today, but I am at a crossroads...

I have very high ideals (in most situations) and a strict code I live by.

1) No married men - I did this once, and I justified it to myself and others and still feel somewhat okay in that relationship. His wife was a big mistake and he says he never loved her - and they are long since divorced. Course, he isn't with me either. And I look back on it and it was not a mistake for me, but I would never do that again.

2) Stick with older men - or at least the same age as you. So Angie has this rule she set years ago that she couldn't date anyone who wasn't born when Star Wars: A New Hope was released (originally) in the theatres. Now she is 2 years older than me, so my rule is the same, but with The Empire Strikes Back. Younger guys seem fun to start out, but then their immaturity rears its ugly head and I end up banging mine against a wall. It isn't always true, and I would never dismiss someone I had a spark with over age, but I try not to go looking for a younger man.

3) Don't date people you work with - Again, done this before. How can I not, I feel like all I ever do is work and I tend to make friends at work and hang out with people from work...so who else am I going to date? That said, why is it I meet some of the nicest, sweetess (and yummiest) guys at work. It's like a curse. Do they know they drive me batty? Probably not, I try not to show it. But I am a natural flirt and cannot help myself sometimes. ARGH!

4) Try not to steal someone else's man - this ties into #1 a bit, but even if they are dating someone (and especially if you like the girlfriend well enough), you try not to look. So why do men become more appealing when they have girlfriends? Is it that you can see the guy in a relationship and therefore know he is good boyfriend material? Is it the challenge of getting him for yourself? Is it all just electrons? What's the deal, Lucille?

5) Always see past the exterior - and this one is a must. There are certain things about people that just jump out - it could be looks, it could be their nature...who knows. I'm good at finding diamonds in the rough - no doubt. But why is it that people do not just act like themselves? Honestly, it kills me some of the false bravdo that gets put out there - sheesh!

6) Don't date guys who play head games - I don't want to have to work at it. I don't want to worry about calling him or not - have I waited long enough? Is he messing with me? Put it out there, man. If you are interested, great! If you want a play thing, go jump off a bridge, ya know?

7) Long distance relationships suck - I did it and hated it. It didn't work out, of course it didn't. I was in Georgia and he was in Sweden - how is that going to work? I seriously wasted time in my life when I should have been open to possibilities and even though he is gone now, which saddens me deeply, I know that if it had worked out, it would have been a big mistake. I just don't think we would have grown together - I know me now, and I know how I was then (I was really young) and I am twice the age now and have loved deeply (and been hurt) and would have missed out on a lot of things that made me the person I am today. Those of you who contributed, you know who you are!

Okay, I think those are all my rules. I'll probably come up with another one later. Next point, so what do you do when you meet someone that falls into a couple of these categories? Throw the rules out the window? Live a solitary life? Day dream about how you could have had this person more in your life? It's SO hard. I am trying really hard to "behave" myself and not let my emotions seep through my skin. And is it emotions? I mean, maybe it is just infatuation or just a distraction, but DAMN! You know that crazy feeling you get when something just fits? It's like "where have you been?" "Of course I enjoy myself when you are around," "Can you stick around for always, please?" Man - I think I am ranting a bit...what does it all mean?

Life is hard, and don't mess with Texas. Those of you in the back of the room reading this will understand.

I think I need to fly to France or Orlando right about now...thoughts? I think I need a vacation, or at least a nice break from reality :)