So, This is My Life?!

Current mood: crushed

Big sigh...after a decent weekend of friends and fun, here I sit having just hung up the phone and I feel like crying...it's been a while.

So for the good parts of my weekend...

First, a nice dinner Friday night at my favorite little Italian restaurant here in town with friends. Good food and funny conversations.

Next, my company shelled out the big bucks this year for our company picnic at the Georgia Aquarium. Pretty nifty considering how pricy that place is and that this meant we were indoors (instead of the nasty muggy heat). The food was only so-so, but the comraderie was most excellent. I finally got to meet kids and spouses and it was fun being social and not talking about work for once!!! Except for Hal - who would not manage to keep work at the office and have some fun - shame on you!

Anyway, shocking news was my old boss (who did not come) popped the question to his secret girlfriend (ex-employee) and she said yes! HAH! To the naysayers who told me I was crazy - they are an item! 'Nuf said!

So we had a blast spending 4 hours - most of which was in the Oceans Ballroom which was this big banquet hall with their own windows into the tanks. Very cool. Thank you Garry!

Afterwards, friends and I went to the movies (MindLink and D3) - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - movie review to follow tomorrow.

Sunday was pretty uneventful - I did some catering as usual and had dinner with my mom (my dad is in Orlando on business). I came home and shot up some bad guys (okay, really just my playmates). I turned the damn thing off only after my phone rang...once again...big sigh.

I should have let it go to voicemail...I should have just ignored it and gone to bed. But NO! I'm a glutton for punishment apparently and therefore I answered it. Of course, it was my Ex! Chris has impecable timing. Somehow he always knows when I am thinking about "getting back out there" and he rings me up. Shit!

So here is the deal - this guy has been my on-again-off-again for 13 years (OMG). I love him to death, I really do, but he is just not the guy I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I wish he would just let us be friends and stop making booty calls at 1am. It is so disheartening!

Look, he is a great guy, but he just cannot seem to get his life together. I need someone who (no matter their age) knows what they want, has a decent and steady job, and wants the same things that I want. I want someone who goes after those things he wants most, no matter the cost. I want someone who can take control and see that what he is doing isn't working out for him and have the balls to make a change. I don't want to support anyone (unless someone is going back to school and has a path in life). Chris just doesn't get it - he thinks he has his life all figured out and then he just says or does something to piss it all away...

He wants to meet - he wants to come over and see me and talk. He wants to prove to me how he has changed and that he has a purpose and path and yada yada yada. What do I do? What do I say? Somebody rescue me!

So my friends; my friends who get it and get me and have any advice at all - I will take it! Bring it on, no matter how harsh it may be - give it to me straight! HELP!

Okay, I am going to sleep now and am going to dream about cute men who do not drive me crazy and are far enough away that I won't be getting any booty calls the rest of the night :)

Currently listening:
Hot Fuss
By The Killers
Release date: By 15 June, 2004