Have I ever mentioned how much I detest the phone...ironic really since I work in call centers, but I did do my best to get off the phones rather quickly? I am, however, quite good on the phone, I just hate it. At least if I have to talk on the phone, let it be with someone I want to talk to :)
So this weekend was pretty dull and boring from the outside looking in, but I loved every minute of it. It was laundry, cooking, cleaning, stitching, watching movies and mindless TV and not having to be anywhere at any time...it was fabulous! The OLN is showing Survivor reruns and even though I think I have seen most episodes (okay, except for that crappy season or 2 in the middle), I am sucked right back in. It's much better storing up 8 episodes before you watch...fast forwarding over eating of disgusting creatures and naked Richard Hatch. It makes for a mindless weekend, for sure!
Then, there was an interruption...the phone. ARGH! So much for the silence. Now who would call and ruin my perfectly perfect weekend? An Ex, of course. So it's been enough months that the bad penny has decided to turn up yet again. Now actually, that isn't really fair. He is a really good guy and he cares for me deeply, but each time my phone rings, I know it is him, usually defeated by life and looking for love again and wanting to get back with me.
Don't get me wrong, I care for him very much, but I just am not in love with him...believe me, I wish I was. He has family issues and therefore has grown up all screwed up and I have picked up the pieces enough for anyone in a lifetime. His parents would rather have me as their daughter than him as their son - how f-ed up is that, I ask you?
Anyway, we had a good conversation and I was not too harsh. He asked me to meet him for coffee, which was a repeat of the last time he called me. This time, I said no. Now honestly, I would love to say that it was will-power talking, but I was in grubby shorts and a t-shirt with my hair on top of my head with no particular order to it and absolutely NO makeup on at all...and my legs weren't shaved! My saving grace :)
So we ended up talking for quite a long time as I, for once, had lots of things to catch him up on...people moving out west, crazy turns in my job, a new nephew, etc. He wanted to fill me in on his current cheffing job and how he misses all his old friends. He said nothing about his dad, step mom or mom, but did talk about his sisters (which was nice as I know them all and had been seriously lacking for news). Then it started...why can't we try again?!
It is exhausting to have this conversation every six months, and I seriously considered changing my phone number. I love him; I'm just not in love with him. He will always be young and think that things will just miraculously work out no matter what the problems are. I need more maturity than that (I say this having drooled over 20-somethings in meetings the last 3 weeks). I just need to find him the right woman so he and I can remain friends. Problem being, I can't seem to find a man of my own, so I should probably work on that instead of helping other people's love lives.
Anyway...the hunt continues...without any time for hunting. I'm back at work, putting in my 60-hour weeks and wishing for a vacation or maybe just a little trip to Neverland!
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