Bourne Free

Movie Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

He's a quiet man and he is on a mission - his name is Jason Bourne. Matt Damon again steps into the shoes of the government assassin with no memory of who he is or was. This series of films has been quite the showcase for Mr. Damon as it allows him to be smart and kick ass at the same time. Based loosely on the book series by the late Robert Ludlum, Paul Greengrass has taken the helm once again to bring the man with nothing left to lose to life (Doug Liman directed the first installment, The Bourne Identity). The Bourne movies have rejuvenated the spy-genre by placing its hero firmly in the real world, with real emotions and replacing high-tech devices with wit and cunning.

Bourne is still being hunted down like a dog by the CIA. No matter how hard they have tried to kill him in the past, he has always been at least one step ahead of the g-men trying to silence their loose end from Operation Treadstone (watch the 1st two movies). This time around, Bourne has their number and isn’t going to give them an inch.

In round three, we meet the head of the black-ops program, Noah Vosen, played skillfully by David Strathairn. As we learn, Blackbriar is the cut-throat black-ops program that is Treadstone's successor or "upgrade." Pam Landy (Joan Allen), who previously was obsessed with catching Bourne, goes a little nutty and starts to question the vigor in which they are willing to take Bourne out. I’m not sure that this turn did the character any justice, however.

We do learn the origins of Jason Bourne. He has been looking for answers for 3 movies now and he finally gets them. Unfortunately, he gets more than he bargained for but at least he can have some peace.

The film moves so fast there's barely time to take a sip of your soda or a bite of popcorn for fear of missing a morsel. There are some excellent fight scenes but the best scene in the entire movie was the chase scene. For those of you thinking about car chases (Ronin still wins that contest), this one takes place on foot. It is like a well-choreographed dance, with Bourne taking the lead. The masterful back and forth between the “good guys” and the “bad guys” just reels you in and keeps you glued to your seat for the rest of the 2-hour flick. There are other chase scenes in the movie – let’s face it, this is a chase movie – but the first one is still my favorite.

I applaud Mr. Greengrass in his seemingly non-stop action between car crashes, leaping from rooftop to rooftop and crashing through windows. I am torn as to which movie of the trilogy is my favorite, but I think the 3rd movie will come in last. Depending on the day of the week, I will pick Identity over The Bourne Supremacy (let’s face it, Franka Potente’s Marie died too soon in the 2nd movie – she gave Bourne a more human and sympathetic character). But tonight, I think I side with Mr. Greengrass.

Who knows if this is truly the last chapter in the Bourne series, especially with a new book recently released by Ludlum’s close friend? If the box office receipts look good and Matt Damon is willing to return, I bet this isn’t the last we have seen of the spy who now knows too much.

Table for One

Movie Review: No Reservations

½

As a second helping of culinary films this summer, No Reservations does a fine job setting the stage for a decent foodie chick-flick with just the right amount of chefly ego tossed in for good measure.

Catherine Zeta-Jones plays Kate, a driven heralded chef who happens to be anal retentive in every way. Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin is Kate's niece, Zoe, who unexpectedly moves in after a tragedy takes her mother from her. While Kate steps away from the kitchen to figure out how the hell to care for a 9-year old, her boss brings in a sous chef to help ease the load - enter Nick (Aaron Eckhart), the exact opposite to Kate's orderly and controlling head chef. Nick likes things loose and passionate, including singing to Pavarotti in the kitchen and dancing with the quail dinner special.

Kate is an atypical movie heroine as she is grounded and content with her routines, including her empty apartment and seemingly always empty voicemail box. The addition of a child who refuses to eat Kate's gourmet feasts sends her reeling and looking for answers back in her home away from home - the restaurant kitchen. She quickly learns that you cannot always dress the plate to appease all palates and she has to learn to allow herself to eat on the floor and have pillow fights. Nick finds the recipe to soften her tough exterior and bring fun and joy into her home life with Zoe.

The journey of Kate, Zoe and even Nick was a bit predictable, but a little life was stirred into the tale with Zoe's willingness to step into the kitchen and do a little sautéing of her own. I am a sucker for most culinary movies, even the cheesy and less than stellar ones (like Simply Irresistible).

This mix of Raising Helen meets Baby Boom meets Big Night is the right mix of food, love and learning to adapt to life as it happens. I really did enjoy this movie, but it is understandable if the critics don't get it. This movie isn't flashy, it isn't Oscar-worthy, but it is real - it works as a date movie or just 100 minutes of relaxing entertainment (but maybe bring a Kleenex or two).

One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!

Movie Review: Transformers

I loved Transformers as a kid (thanks, Hasbro), but was not a die hard fan, so any changes to the original did not really phase me...maybe I am in the minority there.

The premise was the same - vehicles, electronic devices, etc, unfold, their insides coming out, and then reassemble themselves, with speed and agility into giant robots.

This movie was thoroughly enjoyable - especially if you take it for what it is. This was a fun, action-packed movie that doesn't take itself too seriously. After all, this is a Michael Bay film and we all know what to expect when we walk into the theatre. However, this seemed to be a stronger showing for Mr. Bay this time around - but a lot of that may have been due to Steven Speilberg holding the purse strings.

The story is this - the AllSpark (the giver of life in the robot world) was lost in space after the robots divided between good and evil. Falling onto Earth (of course), a handful of these robots traveled all over the galaxy to find this device. Enter the Autobots (good) and the Decepticons (evil). The Autobots want to defend Earth and keep the Allspark from the Decepticons who want to use it to conquer planets.

Our human hero, Sam Witwicky (played skillfully by Shia LeBeouf), is seemingly an innocent bystander when his car - a rusty yellow 1976 Chevy Camaro - Bumblebee, transforms and starts to talk to him through his radio. This was good for some laughs as the car chose the right song lyrics to match what was going through Sam's head at the time. His paramour, Mikaela (Megan Fox), is sucked into the adventure and soon finds that she fits in more with Sam than with the popular clique - much to Sam's delight! The relationship was contrived and somewhat forced for my tastes – maybe this was meant to give a nugget for all the girls forced to see the movie with their men. Otherwise, the character was completely intended to give the guys a drool factor – the girl had some skin showing throughout most of the movie…it’s what they say about men – all they need is cars and women.

Our Autobot hero is Optimus Prime, and he morphs from a big rig, with red/blue flames, and speaks in a booming voice (voiced by Peter Cullen, who originated the character in the cartoon). The rest of his posse is comprised of Bumblebee (who I believe was a girl in the cartoon), Ironhide, Jazz and Ratchett. It was really hard to keep the rest of them straight during the movie, but I’m not sure it mattered.

Most of the charm of this movie is the action of the robots transforming and then fighting each other (sometimes at the very same time). Watching them convert from a car chase to a metal-on-metal death match just leaves you wanting more.

The kids in all of us (especially the boys) were the target audience for this – and that’s why it has been so successful. This was an epic battle of good versus evil with lots of fights, explosions, metal scorpions chasing after military squadrons…all very Michael Bay and all very enjoyable if you aren’t looking for Platoon meets 2001: A Space Odyssey. This was more Aliens meets The Terminator meets War of the Worlds…which is not a bad thing at all.

Pretty Scary in Pink

Movie Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix



With just a week left until the final installment of the Harry Potter book series is to be released, I found myself looking for a quick fix to tide me over. 870 pages condensed into 2 hours and 18 minutes quite brilliantly. Director David Yates does an excellent job creating a Harry Potter movie story that flows with relevance and accuracy…well, mostly.

As Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and his cohorts, Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Granger (Emma Watson) are set to enter their fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they find themselves heavily ensconced in The Order of the Phoenix as they prepare for Lord Voldemort’s (Ralph Fiennes) return to power. Harry is once again reunited with his godfather, Sirius Black (Gary Oldham) and he couldn’t be happier.

This movie is action-packed, even with paring down the original book, but a lot of the scenes are flashes from the 4 previous films. Gone are most of the scenes at Sirius’s house dealing with The Order, but we are still given a glimpse into that piece of the storyline. Harry continues to confide in Sirius and this time around, he is entrusted with most of the secrets of The Order.

This book was notorious for teen angst and a brooding Harry and the movie is no different. The beauty of the abridged version is that he seems to snap out of it a lot sooner. However, we were not denied any of the delicious plot involving the pink yet vicious Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton). Her insertion as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor by the paranoid Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge (Robert Hardy). Her ability to be such a menace over the students and the school is absolutely hair-raising. Her wall of decorative cat plates and her sipping of tea temporarily masks the evil side within. Her pure torture of Harry in detention is as scary to watch as it was to read.

Knowing that Voldemort has returned and being denied the opportunities to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts, Harry et al build Dumbledore’s Army and decide to teach themselves how to defend the world against the ultimate evil. Using the Room of Requirement for their lessons, the kids learn everything from Stupefy to Patronus. The addition of Luna Lovegood (Evanna Lynch) is so refreshing and delightful to watch. This young lady was born to play Looney Lovegood, indeed.

As we soon find out, Harry’s connection to the Dark Lord is stronger than ever and they are actually able to read each other’s thoughts and experience each other’s actions. In order to try and stave off the cranial intrusions, Harry finds himself taking Occlumency lessons from none other than Professor Severus Snape (Alan Rickman). The portrayal of the aspect of the story was absolutely dazzling. Using the footage from previous films and intertwining some new scenes for Snape was a beautiful harmony of images to give much more meaning to these scenes than my own imagination could do.

After being duped by Lucius Malfoy (Jason Isaacs), Harry and part of his army end up at The Ministry of Magic to try and save Sirius and thwart Voldemort’s plans to steal the Prophecy. Honestly, there was a lot of cutting in this part of the book/movie, but it worked nonetheless. From Sirius’ end to the battle between Albus Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) and Lord Voldemort, the ending was breath-taking and heart-pounding.

This is not the best of the series, but it is a very close second. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and felt that this put the series back on track. I have resigned myself to the fact that the movies will never be as detailed and full of secondary storylines as the books are and I am okay with that. If you enjoy this series, you will truly enjoy the newest installment of The Boy Who Lived.


My ratings of the Harry movies so far:
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Dinner and a Movie

Movie Review: Ratatouille

½


The writer-director is Brad Bird, who made The Incredibles (2004), lets just say...incredible! So my expectations were quite high walking into this new installment from Pixar Animation Studios.

Our hero is a little rat named Remy (voiced by Patton Oswalt). He's kind of cute and loveable and has a predilection for all things culinary. He is a man among mice (er, rats) and even walks on his hind legs so as not to walk on the same things he uses to eat - his hands! Now, you may be thinking, ewwww a rat! However, once you get over the swarming of rats in a couple of scenes, you kind of forget his origins and learn to root for the little guy.

Remy understands the intricacies of tastes and flavors; he delights in combining complimentary spices and feels that you are what you eat. He is a natural-born chef without the culinary school degree. His taste buds separate him from the pack and he dreams of working in a real French kitchen. Obviously, he gets his wish (otherwise, why did we pay $9).

Remy's journey takes from fleeing a gun-totin’ Granny to raft being flushed through the sewers under Paris until he finds himself at Gusteau’s – the restaurant of his late-great-mentor. After accidentally tumbling into the kitchen, he runs across a soup in dire need of flavor-correction while trying to mount his escape. Being the gourmet he is, he cannot just walk by and do nothing. Next thing you know, Remy works his magic and not only saves the day, but helps put the restaurant back on the map.

As it turns out, this is somewhat of a buddy movie. Since Remy cannot take credit for the soup himself, Alfredo Linguini (Lou Romano) ends up getting the accolades. Linguini and Remy decide that they need each other to get what they want (Linguini gets to keep his job and Remy gets to cook by using him as a puppet). Suddenly, the restaurant is at the top of the must-eat list and our co-chefs are happier than ever. Linguini even ends up with a love interest, Colette (Janeane Garofalo), who is the kitchen’s badass female chef who won’t take any crap from anyone – a nice touch to her story is to tell us how impossible it can be for a woman in a restaurant kitchen!

Unfortunately, to have a movie, you must have peril and conflict…even if this is a kids movie. So enters the Executive Chef, Skinner (Ian Holm), who resents Linguini and his ability to cook and wants nothing more than to use Gusteau’s name to make money in the frozen food business. But wait, that’s not all…we also have a ghoulish looking, embittered restaurant critic, Anton Ego (Peter O’Toole) who looks more like some scary castoff from Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride than something in a Pixar flick. Apparently, his only mission is to make restaurateurs and chefs miserable in their endeavors by giving them crappy reviews.

Overall, the movie is quite good, but fails in trying to stand up to the previous Pixar films. The animation is just as incredible and is more appetizing than ever, but the story is a little flat. I enjoyed watching the triumph of the underdog and it was very smart to give kids the message of “Anyone Can Cook.” The camera work was enticing and the ending was fun and funny at the same time. However, the movie just paled in comparison to my expectations. I will own this movie; I am sure I will end up watching it again and again (after all, I am a movie buff with a culinary degree). I will say, that watching this movie made me want to taste Thomas Keller’s recipe for Ratatouille (and I hate eggplant!!!) – That’s progress.

One other note, for the first time I feel like the ilk of voice talents was a little “bottom of the barrel” in terms of well-known actors. Nothing against the folks who lent their voices, but they were no Tom Hanks, Albert Brooks, Paul Newman, or Owen Wilson. At least John Ratzenberger kept his Pixar streak alive as Mustafa – but honestly I couldn’t tell you who he was in the movie.

So in honor of this movie, I feel I should post my Pixar list in order of most to least favorites:

The Incredibles
Finding Nemo
Toy Story
Cars
Monsters, Inc.
Ratatouille
A Bug’s Life
Toy Story 2

As an honorary mention, Lifted, the short that precedes this film, was cleaver and funny. It is no One Man Band, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is worth taking the time to watch it.

Not Always in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

Movie Review: Live Free or Die Hard
½


Move over Peter Parker - you and Jack Sparrow have been outdone this time around! In the Season of the Sequel, Bruce Willis shows his repetitive cohorts how it is done - Yippie ki yay...

The 4th installment of the Die Hard series (originally started almost 20 years ago) does its level best to combine all the fights, explosions, the wit and the comedy of the first flick while adding a younger flair (sorry Bruno). Put it all together and you have the recipe for one kick ass action movie for the summer of 2007.

John McClane picks up almost where he left off as an NYPD cop who always seems to be the only guy who can stand up to a band of terrorists. This time around, we have the old school cop up against the new age of computers and hackers. As the bad guy says, "you’re a Timex watch in a digital age, John."

Our villain, Thomas Gabriel is played quite convincingly by Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood). Gabriel and his merry band of hacker-terrorists have figured out how to pull off a "Fire Sale" - basically a systematic shutdown of all the United States using our computer dependency against us. What's their motivation..what's their trauma? Who cares? Honestly the reasons why are a bit hokey, but the age-old battle of 1 vs. 100 in order to save the world is a recipe that is still working for Mr. Willis.

What would a Die Hard movie be without a non-cop character for McClane to protect? This time around, Justin Long (none other than Mac, himself) plays the computer-savvy sidekick who inadvertently gives the terrorists some program to help them implement their nefarious plans. He brought in humor, an air of innocence and someone you really wanted to root for in this movie. The casting could have used some work for the smaller roles, but putting Bruce together with Long was the work of a genius. I will say that giving Kevin Smith a small part as a Hacker who lives in his mother’s basement seems somehow fitting, Boba Fett standee and all.

The beauty of this movie is its ability to bring back the heyday of the big, blockbuster action films from the 80's. Where else can you get cars being flung at helicopters because the cop ran out of bullets and options? Not only does this movie respect its original, but they actually play homage to it in a couple of ways - there is even an Agent Johnson – but just one this time.

So for Die Hard #4 – you should be pleasantly surprised. With witty one-liners, explosions, the brutal demise of many bad guys and an evil mastermind all dispatched by John McClane…you’ll feel like you’ve come home once again.

Currently listening :
The Very Best of Elvis Costello
By Elvis Costello

Surf’s Up!

Movie Review: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
½


Much more interesting and entertaining that the first installment of the Fantastic Four franchise, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is quite the gem in a sea of sequels this summer. The brilliance of this flick is the intriguing choice to dig into the annals of the Marvel Universe and pluck from it one of the coolest characters and tell his story (in conjunction with The Four, of course). Vocally portrayed by Laurence Fishburne, the Silver Surfer glides onto the big screen with a graceful menace that grabs you early on. I will say, that it was very hard for me NOT to think of The Matrix whenever he spoke (luckily, his lines were sparse).

As for the plot devices and crappy pacing - most of this can be overlooked if you remind yourself that this movie was made to be enjoyed by kids and adults.

What are these plot devices, you ask? Reed Richards and Sue Storm (Ioan Gruffudd and Jessica Alba), a.k.a. Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman, keep planning their wedding and it seems to have been postponed a few times. I'm not sure how important this really is when you have to save the world for a living, but I guess the writers are trying to give some character and back story to The Four. Oh, did I mention that Victor Von Doom (the always yummy Julian McMahon) is alive and well and causing havoc once again?

I think my favorite unnecessary plot device ties to Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) a.k.a. The Human Torch. After a run-in with the Silver Surfer, anyone he touches ends up switching powers with him. It allows for some funny moments and adds to the depth (I use this word loosely) to the character.

The main conflict in this movie is truly this: Is the Silver Surfer a villain or a hero? This ties very closely to his introduction into the comic book and is a decent homage to comic fans.

So why is this sequel better than the original movie? This movie is a much more ambitious than the first Fantastic Four, which gives it much more to sustain itself with for 2 hours. The characters are still weak, but the actors appear more at home in their roles the second time around. There is also far more action and less campiness in this movie. Dr. Doom is a much better character in this movie, but he still isn't quite the force to be reckoned with from the comic books. And finally, the special effects are much more robust and breath-taking (check out the Fantastic Four's new ride!)

Overall, I think the movie companies need to take a meeting. Don't skimp on the funding, but don't throw money at a picture just to try and over sell it. You can make a decent comic book movie as long as you stick to storylines that the fans know well enough to enjoy, but not so well that they get pissed off when you don it wrong. Give us action, fun, a little comedy and some backbone in our heroes and we will come to the box office every time!

Currently listening :
Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur
By Various Artists
Release date: 12:00 AM

Evan Help Us

Movie Review: Evan Almighty
½

In this loosely called sequel, The Office’s Steve Carell stars again as new broadcaster (now a newly elected Congressman) Evan Baxter. If you think back to 2003’s Bruce Almighty, Steve is the guy who stole the show from Jim Carrey in only a few scenes of comic genius.

Now, I will do my best not to get onto my soapbox at all, but here is another movie where they have completely marketed it incorrectly. From previews and commercials, including the stars doing just about every talk show in the last two weeks, you would think this is a laugh-riot comedy. Nope – everybody out of the pool!

Evan is the epitome of waste and an environmental drain – big house, Hummer, hates animals, etc. His focus on work, his appearance, and neglect of his family (his wife Joan is played by Gilmore Girls alum, Lauren Graham) cause him to be the one man who needs divine intervention more than any. Laughably, the man’s campaign slogan was ‘Save the World.’

Enter God (well-played once again by Morgan Freeman) who comes to Evan and says “Son, you must build an Ark.” The few moments of comedy in this flick soon follow as he initially resists this request and ends up having pairs of animals (and God) following him around DC. Once he gives in, the movie turns from trying to be a comedy to its true self, an inspirational biblical flick.

There are a few funny moments still left in the movie – Evan’s hair and beard won’t stop growing and God only allows him to wear Noah-inspired robes. Evan tries to “beat the system,” but even that gets tired after a minute or two.

Fun performances from Ed Helms (The Office, The Daily Show) and Wanda Sykes (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Monster-in-Law) do their best to keep the movie light, but honestly there was no chance this could happen based on the subject matter. At best, this is a movie the kids can watch in Sunday School so they don’t have to read Genesis.

The movie isn’t terrible, but it leaves a lot ($175 million) to be desired. The real live animals (instead of spending less money on CG) couldn’t save this flick from impending doom. My head hurts from the shovel of a message being smacked into my brain: Don’t waste, do Acts of Random Kindness and you can avert being washed away with the next flood. In the immortal words of Bill Cosby: Himself…Riiight!

Currently listening :
Ultra Payloaded
By Perry Farrell's Satellite Party
Release date: 12:00 AM

It Sure as Sh*t Ain't Sad

Movie Review: Ocean’s Thirteen

How refreshing – a sequel that actually stands up to the original. In the season of the sequel (see footnote below), Ocean’s does its due diligence and lives up to the hype. This is the heist movie everyone wanted to see in Ocean’s Twelve, but felt completely let down and dismayed. George Clooney and team are back for round 3 and this time it’s personal.

When Reuben (Elliott Gould) is double-crossed by his new business partner Willie Bank (exquisitely played by Al Pacino), he ends up suffering from a medical nightmare that sucks the life out of him. Enter Danny Ocean and his merry band of thieves* who come to the rescue with an elaborate plan that just might work. All of our old favorites are back, with the delightful addition of Eddie Izzard as the smarmy yet intriguing Roman Nagel.

How do you hit the infamous Willy Bank where it hurts? You turn his fancy new hotel into a complete disaster. This is a huge undertaking and it will take everything they have got up their collective sleeves to make it work – they even have to solicit some help from their old nemesis, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). This movie is about the ultimate heist – how can you lose your shirt in a casino when the house always wins? Leave it to Danny Ocean to execute the perfect revenge in the span of 3 ½ minutes.

This movie is smart, flashy, funny and completely entertaining. It has brought back the glamour and success from Ocean’s Eleven and done it up right. There are some nods to both previous films (most of which a newcomer may miss, but it won’t effect their enjoyment of the movie), including some familiar faces. George and Steven Soderbergh learned their lesson from Twelve and this time around made the movie they should have made before. Honestly, as a woman, I’m perfectly happy watching 2 hours of some of the hottest men in Hollywood – but this movie delivered in many ways that would even make the guys happy.

With some twists, turns (and shakes), a prosthetic nose and a really bad boob job, Thirteen leaves the audience ready for Ocean’s Fourteen! And boy, did they ever leave the door open for that.

The Season of the Sequel:
May: Shrek the Third, Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, 28 Weeks Later
June: Ocean’s Thirteen, Hostel: Part II, Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer, Evan Almighty, Live Free or Die Hard
July: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
August: The Bourne Ultimatum, Rush Hour 3, Halloween (the 9th one)
September: Resident Evil: Extinction
October: Saw IV
November: The Punisher 2
December: National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Alien vs. Predator: AVP2

*The rest of the team:
Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt)
Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon)
Livingston Dell (Eddie Jemison)
Basher Tarr (Don Cheadle)
Yen (Shaobo Qin)
Virgil Malloy (Casey Affleck)
Turk Malloy (Scott Caan)
Frank Catton (Bernie Mac)
Saul Bloom (Carl Reiner)

Currently listening :
Versions
By Thievery Corporation
Release date: By 16 May, 2006

Drop the Chalupa

Current mood: amused

Main Entry: cha•lu•pa
Pronunciation: ..chä-'lü-pä, ch&-'lü-p&..
Function: noun
Etymology: Mexican Spanish, from Spanish, boat, skiff, from French chaloupe
Date: 1895
: a fried corn tortilla sometimes shaped like a boat and usually filled with a savory mixture (as of meat, vegetables, or cheese)

So since when is this a catchphrase? I did a little research on the 'net and this is what I found:
1. drop the chalupa

Giving Birth

My ol' lady dropped the chalupa

2. drop the chalupa

to take a big-ass dump, especially after consuming food from Taco Bell

This made me laugh my ass off – seriously. All this ties to a kick ass time we had celebrating Delia's birthday this past weekend. Hanging out at the Gargoylee Mansion with beer, wine, burgers and dogs (and not to mention the red velvet cake provided by yours truly). It was a Hurricane-themed shindig and leave it to Delia to celebrate while there is a tropical depression (his name was Barry, but it would have been more appropriate if it had been named Delia). This is what you get when you are born on the first day of the Atlantic Hurricane season!

Anyway, we had great fun hanging out, swapping dirty jokes, and ultimately pulling out the game Catch Phrase. This was a first for me and while I did well on most of it – I ended up with "Drop the Chalupa" as my catchphrase. How the hell do you describe that one? We got a great laugh out of it – that's all that matters, really. A fun time was had by all.

Now I am back at work – slammed with a million things – and am doing my best to procrastinate. Obviously, this is not the best idea since I am trying to advance at work and should probably be giving a better impression of my work and work ethic. But after much thought, it occurred to me that I should be myself and not over-do it or over-think it. This is me – take me as I am!

Last night, The New Hotness won at trivia again. We were behind the entire game and came through with a come-from-behind-win! I mean seriously – were we the only ones who knew the name of the castle at Disneyland? That's insane! Oh well – it meant $40 for us, so I am not complaining!

So tonight I am headed to the Ocean's Thirteen screening. I cannot wait! Two hours of watching a whole bunch of hotties that I get to drool over – ahhhh, life is so hard!

Currently listening :
How To Save A Life
By The Fray
Release date: By 13 September, 2005

The Bitter Taste of Venom

Movie Review: Spider-Man 3
½


I want to establish first, that I am a fan of this franchise. I enjoyed the first 2 films and went in wanting another dose of the web-flinging hero. What I was missing, was some of my friendly neighborhood Spidey that I have grown to love. But is it really Spidey's fault? I think not - chalk it up to the constant barrage of negative energy from all angles (otherwise known as a weak script trying to hide behind big effects and a lot of cash).

First - Sandman. A giant of a villain who is a bit dusty after being molecularly altered (personally, I think the CGI guys were from The Mummy franchise). Next, this creepy alien goo lands from above and infects its host by intensifying the negative energy - it takes over photographer wanna-be, Eddie Brock, and he becomes Venom.

You just think that is all the villains in this tale...oh no. Next, we have Harry trying to be nuGreen Goblin (Peter killed his father, yada yada) with a lot of the fancy toys his dastardly father left behind. Really, is that all?

But wait...there's more! Next is Mary Jane - now while she is usually the damsel in distress, this time around she is annoyed by Peter and his emotional brick wall, so she gets to while a lot.

Last but not least - the demon within. The goo takes over Spidey and turns him into an anti-hero in a black Spidey suit. Like Tobey Maguire didn't already have enough to do.

Spider-Man 3 isn't bad, but there is too much going on to really be able to get into any one of the storylines going on here.

The focus on the hapless criminal who accidentally is turned into a giant sand creature is misplaced and fleeting. His only mission is to make enough money to help out his sickly daughter - who knows if you are supposed to root for him or against him. And Spidey's battle with Sandman doesn't give you any idea if black-suited Spidey is a bad guy or not.

The new photographer (Topher Grace) is not around long enough for you to enjoy his smarmy ways before he morphs into Venom; this story akin to a Public Service Announcement regarding the dangers of member of the paparazzi.

Harry Osborn is a tough nut to crack. He has little evidence that Spider-Man killed his father - he has one faint memory and from that we are to believe that he is willing to turn his back on his best friend, and kill him just to spite him. Oh, and by the end of the movie, he has experienced a completely 180? I am SO confused.

So a message to Sam Raimi - pick a storyline, pick a villain; pick a real conflict for Mary Jane and Peter. Once you have done this, write your script for Spider-Man 4 and stick with it. Please, don't go way over budget creating special effects, don't create too much story which keeps you from telling a full story that makes sense, and please, bring back the fire, the danger, the romance of the first two flicks. I beg of you - redeem the franchise before it is nothing more than a caricature of its former self!

Currently listening :
The Last Kiss
By Original Soundtrack
Release date: By 08 August, 2006

Just Do It Already!

Movie Review: Knocked Up




...That's what she said! First, let me warn you that this movie is longer than expected and does not fall into the Stupid-Humor category. So if you are a fan of Judd Apatow movies and TV shows, you should truly appreciate this movie in its entirety.

The premise of this flick (if you don't already know), is about a young loser-type Ben who is just as shocked as the audience when he is able to hook-up with the hottie Allison in a very 'productive' one-night stand. In writer-director Judd Apatow's follow-up to The 40 Year-Old Virgin, he writes what he knows and puts together the geeky stoner who refuses to grow up and get a job, with the highly successful and beautiful girl who is used to getting everything she ever wanted.

As usual, Apatow develops his characters incredibly well and gives us such a large and fun cast of supporting characters that the lengthy flick doesn't seem it at all. His ability to build his usual band of freaks (everyone has a connection to Apatow - either family or previous cast members), helps to create this world that you feel you are truly a part of.

The acting in this movie is so good, it is hard to remember they are acting. Let's start with the leads - Katherine Heigl plays our put together leading lady Allison, who shows such familiar emotions, especially when she is staring at Ben's naked butt in her bed and is trying to figure out how she ended up in this situation. Her roller-coaster of emotions, most of which are due to the pregnancy, allow her to help us feel her pain as she is trying to figure out what to do with this guy with the Peter Pan complex.

Next is Seth Rogen, plays the nervous but loveably and goofy Ben. He is so lost and cannot figure out how to get his shit together to be the dad he thinks he wants to be. As the movie goes on, you find yourself wanting to root for him.

One of the best sub-plots is the relationship between Allison's sister, Debbie (played by Leslie Mann) and brother-in-law, Pete (played by Paul Rudd). They steal the screen several times in the movie as their problems are a warning bell to the Allison-Ben budding coupling. Mann, Apatow's wife, is amazing and as the movie progresses, she goes from a complete bitch - who honestly is saying everything we are thinking - to someone who you truly end up loving. One of the best scenes in the movie takes place outside a night club when older Debbie and pregnant Allison are refused entry and she goes postal on the Doorman, played by The Office's Craig Robinson. Talk about brutal honesty being roll-on-the-floor hysterical! And its hard not to love Rudd's portrayal of a guy who just doesn't get the family life he is up to his eyeballs in. I love him in anything he does - why has no one given him his own movie, yet! Honorable mention goes to the real-life daughters of Apatow who play Debbie and Pete's kids. They stole the show once or twice, themselves.

The merry band of freaks that play Ben's friends and housemates is a list of Apatow graduates that keep us entertained throughout the entire movie. Jay Baruchel, from Undeclared, plays Jay, a silly stoner with the worst hair in history. Martin Starr, from Freaks & Geeks, plays Martin, another stoner who agrees not to cut his hair or beard for a year in order to cover his rent. Little did he realize part of the deal was he would have to endure all the jokes about his every-worsening appearance from his buddies? Jonah Hill, plays Jonah, was the boot-guy from Virgin. And finally, Jason Segel plays Jason (aren't these names original?), from Undeclared, Freaks & Geeks and non-Apatow show, How I Met Your Mother. I think he was my favorite!

The laughs are spread out throughout the movie, so even with the serious relationship issues portrayed; you cannot help but laugh along with the reality airing on the big screen. This movie is so much more realistic than Virgin, but only because how many 40-year olds do you know who still have their 'virtue' left in tact?

With the pop culture references ("Matthew Fox — you know what's interesting about him? Absolutely nothing!'') and the off-the-cuff remarks ("Gynecology is a hobby of mine."), you won't want to miss a minute of this sharp and hilarious commentary of such a believable storyline. This movie is truly a breath of fresh air and reminds me why I have so enjoyed just about everything Apatow has put out there.

Currently listening :
Wincing the Night Away
By The Shins
Release date: By 23 January, 2007